Meaning, no it's us. This is our ministry.
I was scared.
VBS was a big out reach for our church and a huge deal for our kids.
I have taught the last 4 years but never have been the director. I went to the conference for our VBS. Went to the director's meeting. Planned and planned. Everything was in place. The Saturday night before our VBS was to start, I got no sleep. Maybe 2-3 hours max. I went through everything that could possibly go wrong. Inside and out. I just thought until I couldn't think anymore and then I thought some more. Then I thought about falling flat on my face.
The next morning God spoke to me. Our VBS was about facing fear. Was I going to let fear keep me from the joy of VBS? The irony. I took a stand and decided then that I would not be afraid. I would enjoy our VBS as directors for the first time. Peace flowed through me for the first time in months. During our Sunday morning worship I cried like a baby. God reminded me that He was faithful. His promises are true, because He can't lie. That He would be there through it all. That I needed to rely on Him.
What I needed to remember was this wasn't my VBS. This was His VBS. Somewhere along the way I thought that I was making this VBS. Instead of me magnifying Him, I thought He would magnify me. I thought I was running the show. That if it (VBS) fell flat on it's face it would be because I missed something along the way. I made it a little about me-- okay, a lot about me. That if I didn't work hard enough it would be a flop. I was trying to steal His show. He was using us but really He was doing all the work. I was directing, but He was the Director. There is so much joy in releasing responsibilities that were never really yours to carry. The work was necessary, but He was the one moving. None of it took Him by surprise.
Hands down this was my favorite VBS to date. It pulled and stretched me far out of my comfort zone. I had lots of fun with our kids. They had so much fun! I got to watch my husband be a big kid with our kids. Since VBS has been over parents have been telling us thank you. That during VBS they had amazing conversations with their kids about their Heavenly Father, their kids got saved, or how much they loved our church. As I have read and heard them I just cried. Tears of joy- my cup overflows. I'm crying just typing this. Again and again He reminds me of His goodness. He wants to use us we just have to say "yes". Allow Him to do the work.
Ultimately though, it drew me closer to Him. To draw on His strength. He is our true source of power.
To think something that could bless me so much and I was afraid to touch it with a ten foot pole. I already can't wait for next years VBS yet and ours hasn't been over for a week yet.
Thank you Lord for using me.
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